Seldom a day goes by that I don't think of my Mom and Dad and wish that I could share something with them. Dad passed away over 12 years ago -- Mom will be gone two years in May. I wrote her eulogy here: http://tinyurl.com/b79kn
One of the most difficult parts of growing old is losing those who meant so much to you as a child. It seems to me that your mother's advice of "give to the living" was very wise.