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Blevis
Got this email this morning from my old friend Rob (who still calls me David). Great story. So last night I go out with my landlord & a rumpled retired CIA alcoholic neighbor for a beer or 2 (well, scotch neat, & not good scotch for the CIA type) up on a sketchy (as Meredith would say) stretch of Mt. Pleasant St., an easy walk from my hovel, to this delightfully seedy, claustrophobic bar with a great, archaic juke box & on our way out, heading home, slightly buzzed (I speak for myself) we are joined by a seemingly affable, verbal street hustler spare change artist (you know the type) who begins his rap with: "Let me introduce myself to you gentlemen I call myself Blelvis & before you try to ignore me & walk quickly away let me just explain that I took this name because I am the living black Elvis which explains the name & I know I know I know every song white Elvis ever performed ever recorded by heart all the lyrics intact & let me ask you to name an Elvis song any song just to test me out make it hard make it easy I guarantee I will sing it for you all the way through or until you tell me to stop or do another one & if I can't if you find error in what I sing I will turn & walk the other direction.""Blue suede shoes" slurs CIA, full of a bubbling b & sibilant s's."A classic & an easy one sir but still an excellent choice of a white Elvis song written by the equally white Carl Perkins who was much admired by the white Beatles long before their white album."& he sings the song. Well."Heartbreak Hotel", this from Dear Landlord. Figures, thinks I, as I've pegged him as deeply, maybe tragically lovelorn.Again - note for note, humming instrumental breaks, in perfect time & pitch, just the slightest hint of ironic parody.Old Shep" sez I, escalating the stakes perhaps with a moderately obscure #, one that still, in the 50s, was somewhere in the top 40 for a few weeks, but also because he's got me. I'm already feeling around in my pockets for coins.& he nails it. Spoken parts, tear jerks & all.By now, I'm so hooked the line & sinker are deep in my gullet. The challenge is on. "Trouble!" I demand."Trouble from the soundtrack to King Creole white Elvis's second movie, set in New Orleans shot in black and white one of the few last true blues from white Elvis never released as a single but can be found on a four song set from RCA Victor on a 33 1/3 speed disk the size of a 45.""If you're looking for trouble" he begins, in perfect spoken/rhythm-inflected movie style white Elvis, "Ywah dah do duh" interjects me, imitating the four note instrumental intrusion that follows, and we're off, Mr. Blelvis & I, arm in arm, walking in time, out of tune (again, speaking of myself) up the street: "I'm evil, my middle name is Misery, yeah-ah I'm evil . . . so don't you . . mess around . . . with me." Ywump pah, ywump pah. Dah dah, dah dah dah, duh doog. We stop at a corner, turn, & wait for my drinking companions, staring after us with wide pie eyes, to catch up. "& now let me tell you gentlemen that yes I am trying to make the rent money & I'm 20 short & any help if I have offered you a few moments of diversion would be deeply appreciated but first before you dig into your pockets let me close with the white Elvis doing Latin no I don't mean Spanish but the mother of the Romance languages from his How Great Thou Art album of Negro spirituals, cracker gospel numbers, and an offering from The Church itself." & damned if he doesn't. Not the Pope's Latin, but then again, neither was white Elvis's. My companions dig out all their change. I reach for my wallet, which contains a paltry 2 bucks, & I regret the additional 2 I left as a tip for a lackadaisical barkeep. Blelvis palms the money, doesn't look at it, shoves it in a coat pocket. "You," Blelvis sez to me "Were an impressive challenge. I truly enjoyed it." "No man" sez I, "I'm just a fool & his money soon parted. You are impressive. & an inspiration. & you made my night." All true, David. All true.
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